Los Ranchos de Albuquerque Picaresque

Sell Tower Blues

2007-10-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Well, the new sell tower is on line, and guess what? The cell coverage is WORSE, at least for verizon. This is not just El Picador's experience, no sir. Many others have noticed the same thing. Where once we had coverage throughout the village, we now are dropping calls left and right--especially around fourth street. New phones, re-programming, upgrades, calls to tech support, you name it---nothing seems to help. Guess some sort of electromagnetic karma is at work here.

Larry would do well to note this before he makes the same mistake as some of his colleagues in other towns and tries to set up the wi-fi service he has bragged about in the Vision as another putative benefit of the X-mas pole. Bad service, broken promises and massive cost overruns have plagued these systems despite all of the rosy rhetoric of the sell providers. Why he wants the headache is beyond me--unless he is taking a page out of his friend the Shrub's book and is planning to use the wi-fi to spy on the informal e-mail networks used by his opponents.

No need to fear there. Sellular incompetence and overreach will keep us safe for a long time.

Just don't ditch your land lines or cable hookups!

"$ell Tower" Larry--Four More Years?!!?

2007-10-10T18:30:00.000-07:00

Election time in LR is just around the corner. In fact, candidate filing will be in early January! And rumor has it that old $ell Tower is going for another term, which also means a well-financed slate of stooges for two trustee slots so that the mayor can continue in his despotic ways unchecked.

Our little burg can ill afford another four years of Larry Abraham, and all of you know it. So who will demonstrate the huevos to really get up and do something about it? Who will run for mayor, or trustee? Why not you, dear reader? Just think of yourself sitting up there on stage in village hall, glaring condescendingly toward the poor sap droning on at the podium! What prestige and respect will you command as you pummel the rug thug and his minions with nay votes! Why wait any longer--organize your campaign now!!! And remember, thanks to Larry LR is the only municipality in the state without ANY campaign finance regulations or reporting requirements whatsoever.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow?

2007-09-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

Recently I drove through some towns in New Mexico I hadn't seen before. One set of advertising themes I saw was "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow," or "The Past, The Present, and the Future" all with a hint of promise of what's to come.

The sad thing I saw was the Past was depicted by pictures of old, pretty buildings in town, and pastures and fields nearby, the Present was a bunch of words and statistics, and the Future was a grab bag of descriptions of Visions of Glory, Spaceports, new Tourist Attractions, Skiing, Recreational Opportunities and Better Shopping! God help me.

In no town did I see any pride that Today was prettier than Yesterday, that Tomorrow was going to be a nicer place to live than Yesterday ever was. It all reads like a race to WalMart. Why on Earth did I move to New Mexico? (well, the job pays really well, and New Mexico is a really pretty place once I get out of town, still.)

I really work in Rocket Science. We build better machines every day. They may not be prettier, but they work better than the previous versions. Why can't NM towns build better places every day they build at all? Why do these new neighborhoods look cheaper, fatter and crummier than the old blocks near downtown - in those towns that have downtowns? Is town building harder than rocket science?

Los Ranchos seems to have missed the boat. What is the history? What is worth remembering today? What does tomorrow look like? The Calico Cafe complex seems to work, but is that it for 4th Street - save for the proposed Starbuck drive-thru on Fecho Chavez's house site? It's all pretty crummy.

The great manufacturing complex of Albuquerque Tortilla Company is on the block, and they cut down all their trees. Does the Village care about the "quality of life" that trees and the Valley represent? Why did I buy a house here?

Mayor Abraham hosted a private fundraiser for Senator Domenici, complete with State, County and City police. Did the Village pay for this, or did Mr. Domenici? How does a small estate on Rio Grande Blvd help Los Ranchos grow into a town worth remembering? I just don't understand what this Village is about anymore.

I just don't know why I didn't listen to my Realtor and buy into North Albuquerque Acres instead.

Larry's Ship Adrift in Hot Water

2007-09-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

Vigil's sudden departure seems to have come at a very inopportune time for hizzoner. What with a controversial (f)ire-station to build and a condemnation suit underway for private development at 4th and Osuna, Larry has got to be sweating at least a little. After all, Juan may have been a duplicitous hack, but at least he was a very seasoned pro. With many years in municipal government, he knew how to get things done and knew where all the bodies are buried. He was the real secret behind the effective unfolding of Larry's grand scheme for Los Ranchos, and without him EL Picador suspects most if not all of Abraham's agenda would have been left on the drawing board--where it belonged, but I digress. In short, Vigil was Cheney to Larry's Bush (That doesn't sound quite right, does it?)

The storm warnings are up for the remainder of hizzoner's term, and he has no qualified captain at the helm. Look for the big VC project to go belly up and for a lot more disorganization at village hall.

The jury is still out as to why Juan left so suddenly. Perhaps a problem with the current audit of village finances? That would be the sweetest irony! Whatever it was, it clearly took Juan by surprise. No political pro would ever be caught using the lame and suspicious excuse of "unforeseen circumstances" as the explanation for a resignation unless he had no time to spin something more polished. And Larry clearly wanted him gone ASAP, accepting his resignation effective immediately---and apparently without a successor ready to step in. It must be something fairly major. What do you think?

El Picador bets we have not heard the last of this.

Juan Gone!!

2007-09-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

El Picador was nearly knocked clean out of the saddle when he saw a tiny paragraph in the Lange fish-wrap reporting that Juan Vigil had abruptly resigned his lofty position as Larry's side-kick and all-around hatchet-man. According to the article, he did this on Monday, which of course was Labor day. Now, that is a very old political trick. You put out the shocking news on a holiday or weekend, hoping no one will notice until you get a chance to get the spin going.

Why the sudden departure? Some speculate that the Shrub's recent invasion of our bucolic burg as the guest of hizzoner prompted Juan to ask for his walking papers. Juan is, of course, a long-time, old school democrat and may have taken offense at our self-proclaimed "independent"mayor's obsequious fawning over George the Tongue-Tied. El Picador does not subscribe to this theory. For starters, does Juan seem like the sort who would throw away an easy $90k per year on principle? Come on, people!! Also, one would think that a resignation based on such lofty moral grounds would have been milked for more golden pub---and would be accompanied by a 'heartfelt' statement at the least as well as an offer to stay on during a transition period. But what we got was a very quiet and very sudden departure announced while everyone who would care is drunk at the lake.

This smacks more of either a brewing scandal, or a sudden falling out with hizzoner. Favoring the former is the fact (see the Trib, June 11, 2006) that Vigil was interviewed extensively by the FBI in the course of the Manny Aragon court-house investigation. But my guess is that he and Larry had some big and very sudden disagreement. As anyone who has ever crossed swords with Larry can attest, hizzzoner can get pretty nasty when openly confronted.

Maybe Juan had finally had all he could take of Larry's BS. If so, El Picador tips his hat to Mr. Vigil. Better late than never!

On a related note, El Picador was sickened by the completely ridiculous coverage of the cell-tower--er, pine tree--unveiling in the latest issue of the Vision. Horrible, even by Vision standards. Take a look for yourselves--no further comment is necessary!!

Interestingly, El Picador's own cell, which once worked very well everywhere in Los Ranchos, is now cutting out frequently. This despite re-programming and upgrading to the latest digital technology. So will El Picador be safer and get good 911 coverage in the village? Yes he will, because his land-line is intact!

Loyal Liege Larry entertains King George II

2007-08-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

El Picador greets you from the village of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, amid the heavy security brought in to protect our callow commander-in-thief as he stops by Hizzoner's palatial estate to help half-senile St. Pete raise some campaign scratch from suckers willing to pay $5000 a pop for a photo shoot.

It seems quite fitting that Lord Larry is hosting this event. He and Bush have a lot in common, after all. Both were born to wealth, squandered it with poor business acumen, and were then either bailed out or lucked back into affluence. Both govern with hubris and with contempt for honest dissent, in direct conflict with the fundamental tenants of democracy. Both surround themselves with cronies selected for loyalty over competence. Both make free use of mendacity, subterfuge and intimidation as their political tools of choice. And both have the patrician's disregard for those below their lofty socioeconomic strata.

At least hizzoner is not as dumb as George the Lesser. We have not yet heard of an imminent invasion of Rio Rancho, after all.

And as for all of that nonsense about the president bringing good publicity to the village--El Picador argues that just the opposite effect will occur. Hundreds of well-heeled repubs lounging around Larry's 13 acre heavily watered estate (he is the largest private user of water in the county) only re-enforces the village's image as an insular, selfish and conservative enclave of the ultra-wealthy. The good news is that now there will be plenty of photos of hizzoner schmoozing with a political pariah, destined to go down in history as even a worse president that Warren Harding. Great fodder for the next mayoral campaign!!

El Picador Awakened

2007-08-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

El Picador has been roused from his slumber by several noteworthy Los Ranchos news items:

At the top of the list is the recent Tribune announcement that hizzoner will be hosting the commander-and-thief himself for a Dommenici fundraiser at the palatial 13 acre mayoral manor later this month. That is quite interesting, in that Larry takes great pride in characterizing himself as an independent. With all of the prominent Repubs in this state, why would the RNC put the touch on the lowly mayor of a tiny bedroom community to host, at what will probably be some considerable expense and hassle, an event such as this? El Picador speculates that this may involve some sort of payback for previous favors rendered by the federal administration on Larry's behalf. You see, awhile back Larry had some problems with the IRS concerning a sizable amount of taxes due. He got a favorable settlement from the IRS. Who knows what sort on intercessions were made for him, and by whom? And now it is time to repay the favor by putting on a bash for Bush and one of his most loyal stooges, St Pete.

Moving on, El Picador congratulates all of those who spoke out against the Java Joint dive-though on their recent victory. It is a rare event indeed when the rubber-stamp BOT says no to a project that had been championed by hizzoner. El Picador himself hopes that Starbucks builds anyway, sans drive-through. He needs his morning fix.

And finally, there is the condemnation suit on the SE corner of Osuna. After promising and promising to use it as a "last resort", Larry has used the municipal powers of condemnation to obtain property not for the usual civic uses--parks, schools, etc--but rather for commercial development. This action is certain to be highly controversial and, if fought by the current property owner, could focus national attention on our sleepy little burg. El Picador opposes the use of emennent domain in this manner. Those powers are ment to be used rarely, and only for the public good. And what public good can come from another big-box strip mall, or worse, a Wal-Mart (they are looking for a presence in the area now that they ave lost out on their Los Alturas site)? Most of us moved here to get away from that sort of thing.

A little known fact aboout that SE corner. A previous development, consisting of small stores in the spirit of the old VC zone was approved by a previous board. It fell apart because some property owners--including current trustee Pablo Rael---wanted too much money for their property fronting Osuna. Will the new developer, picked by a vote of the board of trustees, pay Rael then money he wants? Sure, he has been recusing himself from the votes on this particular matter. But what sort of horse-trading is going on behind the scenes?

Oops!

2007-05-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

One of Hizzoners' pet projects, since he rode his four-vote landslide into office, has been to make certain that no one confuses our village with our neighbor to the south. And given the 'querquesque plethora of auto-parts stores, vacant buildings, re-born head shops and check-cashing joints here in good old LR, one could be forgiven for not realizing that they were in fact in another "municpality".

But instead of doing the hard work necessary to make LR a truly unique place, Larry has gone mainly for ultimately trivial actions. Like badgering everyone to change their addresses from "Albuquerque" to "Los Ranchos" (even though the village does not have its own post office or zip, and therefore all mail has been delivered, since the village's inception in 1958, with "Albuquerque" listed as the city). He even went so far as to chide and downright threaten LR businesses for their reluctance to re-print business cards, checks and phone book entries. Of course, it was just too bad if the change lost the businesses customers or cost them for printing and the like. Now all the developers know that anything goes, as long as it says "Los Ranchos" somewhere on the sign.

So imagine El Picador's surprise to see an official, government-issued sign telling us to "Slow down, ALBUQUERQUE" smack-dab in the heart of Los Ranchos (on Bledsoe, just west of 4th, to be exact). And posted on an official traffic sign, the placing and maintenance of which is specifically a responsibility of the Los Ranchos village government, no less!

MRGCD Election--Who Cares?

2007-05-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

MRGCOG, AMAFCA, MRGCD---what do these mysterious acronyms mean? What have they to do with us? Why should we even care? Never fear, El Picador will enlighten you

Let's start with the MRGCD, since they are having an election soon---June 5, to be exact. The Middle Rio Grande Conservancy District, or MRGCD, sounds arcane , bureaucratic and therefore boring to most of us. Probably only a few hundred people will even bother to vote in the election out of the many thousands of eligible voters, and even fewer will know anything at all about the candidates. (Most will probably vote for Agusta Myers, because of name recognition, even though she has zero qualifications for the job). But the wrong people on the MRGCD board can mean real trouble for our way of life in the valley. Just check out the antics of Mr. Turner!

The MRGCD was formed to maintain an manage the irrigation system from Cochiti to Belen, more or less. So if you are one of the few who irrigate, they are the ones who make it happen or not. But many more people enjoy the ditchbanks, using them as trails and occasionally as concealed drinking and huffing spots. Others relish the bucolic ambiance that the ditches make possible. Still others appreciate the convince of a dumping ground close at hand. But I digress.

To run the system, the MRGCD gets a good chunk of your property taxes if you live in the valley. Four-point-six mills, to be exact, which translates into $460 per year of net taxable value (which in turn in one third of the assessed value). That is more than the state takes, more than TVI and over four times what LR is now taking after all of the recent fuss. So you really ought to care who is getting to spend your money and how they are spending it. For example, there have been proposals considered by the board recently to completely pave the system with concrete to eliminate water seepage (thereby wiping out shallow aquifer recharge and killing off the last of the cottonwoods and driving out wildlife), to meter each turn out (at property owner expense), and even to close ditches entirely. And then some of the real crazies on the board have resorted to threatening their colleagues with whom they disagree with violence, and worse, lawyers! All going on under the radar, spending millions with essentially no scrutiny whatsoever.

Furthermore, lots of the board members are big irrigators or ranchers with a vested interest in protecting their kindred, often at the expense of smaller irrigators and therefore those many fold others who wander the semi-urban ditches that supply them. With water becoming a scarce commodity, these guys would like nothing better than to shut the LR system down.

Even better, if you do vote, its like voting hundreds of times in most other elections!! So get informed, pick your candidate and vote June 5!!

Of course, EL Picador has a recommendation. Check it out at www.protectthevalley.com.

Later columns--MRGCOG and AMAFCA.

Playing fast and loose with the public treasure in LR

2007-04-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

Is there anyone besides me who has a problem with public funds flowing directly to a private business, courtesy of the Los Ranchos board of "trustees"? Over $600, 000 of OUR money, earmarked in the last capital outlay request--and granted by our generous legislators---for the Unser racing museum, a private concern, went to the museum this year alone.

Capital outlay funds come from the state, via the legislature, to fund public works and to support local governments. The money is generated from our state income taxes and from the state portion of the GRT. Each fall, before the legislative session, all of the local government entities meet and approve a "wish list" of projects that they would like to have funded. This list is passed on the the local state representatives, who place them in proposed legislation. Typically, a municipality may ask for library books, a new fire truck, a community center and the like. But here in Los Ranchos, requests have been made by hizzoner, and rubber stamped--er, approved--without discussion by the board for this sad little museum. Lots of YOUR money has flowed to the Unsers in this manner.

And just what had the public received from the Unser museum? Answer---not much. The place is nearly inaccessible from Montano, is rarely open and provides no apparent public services whatsoever. No improvements have been made to the exterior of the place since it opened, and last I checked it costs to get inside to see one or two old race cars. So what reason is there for Larry to earmark OUR money for this boondoggle? And why is he such a booster of this pathetic endeavor, even disfiguring village hall with a big banner advertising the place?

A damn good question. El Picador has a theory, of course. As you recall, one of hizzoner's first acts as mayor was to ram through a 280 foot development setback on RGB, the better to protect his quality of life. Unfortunately, that decision took lots of potential income out of the pockets of big RGB landowners who had planned on developing their land----people like the Unsers and the Andersons. The Unsers threatened legal action, and the Andersons actually filed a suit, against the village because of the setbacks. Now co-incidentally, both suits are gone and both families have been the beneficiaries of Larry's largess with our money. The Andersons get the lion's share of the open space money, raised from our property taxes, and the Unsers get a big chunk of LR's share of the capital outlay for their "museum".

Larry certainly has some questions to answer here. At best he is a sloppy custodian of our money (besides this, the village is over $750,000 in the red this year). At worst, he is a crook. Either way, he needs to be held to account.

From Red Lights to Red Tape

2007-04-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

As you will recall, awhile back El Picador ran afoul of one of the big mayor's red light cameras. El Picador was poised to beat the rap at a hearing---he was accused of not coming to a complete stop before making a legal right turn on a red light, with no oncoming traffic, while the one-line camera shot clearly showed El Picador had at least momentarily come to rest---but upon reflection, it didn't seem worth the hassle. So El Picador paid the fine on line per the city's instructions, and also called craque red light office to cancel his hearing. A seemingly nice lady answered the phone, and suggested that El Picador fax the receipt of payment to her 'just to be on the safe side" , which of course I was happy to do.

You would think that would have been the end of it, but no! El Picador was hit with a "failure to appear" notice and a demand for another payment of $100! Multiple phone calls and faxes later, the matter still isn't settled. With all of that cash coming in, one would think that there would be ample resources and staff to take care of these problems.

EL Picador, being a good cynic, thinks there might be a purpose behind this apparent inefficiency. What could it be, other than to rake in even more cash from the distracted or the frustrated, and to discourage any future attempts to schedule hearings? Sounds paranoid, right? But have you timed some of the yellow lights, or green turn arrows recently? The arrow at Menaul and Wyoming lasts for 3.5 seconds---I've timed it. Just enough time for one car to turn left.

The city claims a drop in accidents at red light intersections, but that can be misleading. What you really want to know is the RATE of accidents to make any sense of the possible red light camera impact. It may simply be that people are avoiding these intersections (and the nearby businesses). Less traffic through a given location will result in less accidents at that location without any change in the accident rate. And less traffic means less GRT revenue. It also may mean more gas consumed and miles traveled to avoid these intersections, which could paradoxically lead to MORE accidents, not to mention increased pollution, etc. The company hawking these doesn't want anyone to think of these ramifications.

I had to put that last paragraph in just in case hizzoner Abraham (El mayor menor, aka the thug in a rug) gets the bright idea to bring a red light camera to Los Ranchos. I'll bet he's considering it. Six million buys a lot of shiny new fire trucks to park in front of the fire station so they will be ready to speed out of Los Ranchos to put out fires elsewhere, as they do now. It also buys a lot of old buildings and junk--er, art---to grace our public spaces. And there would be plenty left over for the Unsers. Don't do it, Larry!

On the other hand, Marty has perminently damaged his political career with these lights. And now he's been emasculated by state politicos making hay with flashing warning beacons and rumble strips. On second thought, go for it Larry!

Trustees pave the way for drive-throughs

2007-04-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

With sadness, but with no surprise, El Picador notes the unanimous approval by the Los Ranchos Board of Trustees of the complete gutting of the VC zone. No longer is there any prohibition against drive-ups, gas stations or other examples of typical Albuquerque urban blight in our commercial center. Of course, hizzoner says he's "committed" to a pedestrian friendly development at Osuna and fourth. But if this is in fact the case, why did he propose to do away with the very statutory regulations that would insure this? Simple--because he has no intention of honoring this promise, uttered in a spirit of pure mendacity. Look for a drive-up gas-station/McDonald's golden starches combo similar to that which graces the soulless Montano-I25 intersection to go in, or maybe even a Sam's club discount gas station/tire store. Throw in a few vigas and some sad little ash trees that will either die or grow to crack the extensive asphalt, and you have Larry's idea of a village center. That is the only bone old "SellTower Larry" is going to throw to the hapless and apathetic east siders.

He claims he is "protecting the neighbors"--from what? From a progressive, unique design that just might get people out of their cars to actually walk or bicycle from home to market? From a development that would set Los Ranchos apart form the giant truck-stop monolith that surrounds us, and could actually make Los Ranchos a shopping destination rather than a sad copy of failed urban planning?

Our Mayor, in his zeal to close a business deal, has sacrificed the heart and soul of this village. And no one, except one neighborhood association, has bothered to register even a peep of objection. Oh, the ultra-rich on Rio Grande have their quasi-bucolic vistas, secured with our tax dollars---but east-siders are basically living with the worst of 'craque.

Who is to blame? Of course, it is easy to point fingers at that indolent and inconsequential gang of simpletons that sit on the board. They are a disgrace, to be sure. The Supreme Soviet would have been proud of their rubber-stamping abilities (never a dissenting vote since hizzoner ascended to the throne). But the ultimate responsibility for this fiasco resides with us--the residents of the village--who have silently tolerated the many outrages perpetrated upon us by this administration and who could not even muster a single credible candidate to run for the board in the last election cycle.

Corruption and Public Funds

2007-04-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

El Picador has been following the courthouse scandal with a mixture of interest and disgust. It is the same old story---a big pot of taxpayer money, earmarked for a public works project, just presents too big of a temptation for some folks. Closed-door meetings, "no bid" contracts, and "just trust us" rhetoric are tools used over and over by these thieves--er, public servants--to fleece us credulous citizens.

Could this happen in little old Los Ranchos? You betcha. Our current administration loves to make big decisions in secret, presenting the plans as fiats at the last minute with little or no notice or public discussion. Remember the fire station on fourth street? We heard about that land purchase after the fact, for a greatly inflated sum, based on a so-called "appraisal" by an outfit that was chosen by the administration. Then there's the famous 'barn' the village got as a "donation". Another wildly inflated appraisal was used to give the "donor" an outrageous tax break for what was basically a junky pile of old rotten plywood that blew over in a mild windstorm, after more public money was wasted on its erection. Ditto for the worthless hunk of marble on the handball court that looks like it came off of the Reichstag. And then there is the very interesting diversion of public funds via LR-requested capital outlay funds that went to fund the private Unser Racing museum---which interestingly began just after the Unsers dropped their threat to sue the village over the RGB setbacks. Quid pro quo? There's no proof, but it looks mighty suspicious.

Now we villagers have agreed to give these shady characters more of our money for "open space'. The particular property that these funds will purchase was decided on in advance by the administration with exactly zero public input and before the fact. It happens to belong to the Andersons, who also had a suit against the village over the setback that was quietly settled. And don't get EL Picador started on the huge overpayment the village made on the Blanchard property! That one really reeks.

Just like downtown at the courthouse, there are a lot of dodgy things going on here. No public input on big-ticket purchases, no-bid contracts, crazy appraisals and money going to people who "have" something on the village. Couple all of this with the fact that you have Juan Vigil at the helm, with many years in county government under his belt and knowing where all of the bodies are buried, and you've got all of the ingredients for a good old fashioned pillaging.

And now there is this steam-roller proposal for Fourth and Osuna. The potential for kickbacks and cozy deals there needs little imagination to conjure.

Is Larry a crook? El Picador has no proof. Maybe he is just a tool of others, or maybe El Picador is just too cynical, and hizzoner is really a dedicated public servant. (Like he made all of that money in business by being above board?)

But no matter what, we cannot depend on that gang of worthless sycophants we call the trustees to watch out for us. We need to stand up and hold these people accountable for the way they squander--and maybe even steal--our money. We must demand reasoned public debate, full disclosure of property assessments and rigid adherence to the open meetings act and the procurement codes.

Or, you can just stay at home and open your wallet.

Squeezing the WalMart Balloon

2007-04-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

Larry has probably already figured out how to fit the WalMart into the SE corner of 4th and Osuna. It would be more like him to make coffee and sharpen pencils for developers than to listen to citizen groups like Mayor Marty has done. We are the VLR: Very Larry Ridden; Voicing Little Resistance; Village of Listless Representation.

When we’re done admiring and saluting our surrounding neighbors outside the village who have apparently managed to shut out Wally World we ought to give some thought to what might happen to us. Our village has settled into a state of fatigue that may prove fatal if we don’t wake up and start to participate, ask questions and take action. Look at the turn lanes on Osuna: where do they go? Look at the traffic lights on the SE corner of the intersection: why are they pointed at a building and not a street? Who pays for nonsense like that? You do. Why?

What would you like to see happen in our Village Center? If you participated years ago in helping to create the Master Plan for the village or ordinances that would restrict crass development in the commercial areas along 4th Street and think your work is done, it’s time to rub the sleep out of your eyes. Villagers are now being told that we “owe” developers like Sir Northdale de Plaza Los Ranchos something. We’re being told that a reworking of the rules is in order for the sake of our morals, our health, and our safety. Over and over, people in opposition to the Larry movement have been told they should be ashamed of themselves for having a point of view and daring to participate in a public process.

So, maybe it’s look in the mirror time. Are you ashamed to have a vision of your own? Are you simply happy to have Larry figure it out for you? Do you feel indebted to the guy with all the vacant retail shops at Northdale? Should we take up a collection for him since we can’t shop at his empty stores? Should we send Larry a thank you bouquet for doing all the thinking for us? If we keep on looking the other way we’re going to end up running out of ways to look.

Really Thin Green Line

2007-04-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

El Picador notes a story in today's' Journal describing how some neighborhoods in Albuquerque pay for extra police protection. Apparently, you can hire cops on overtime to bust speeders and enforce the laws that they are too busy to take care of during normal business hours. Wow, I always thought we pay taxes for that sort of thing---but no. If you want "deluxe" you have got to pay extra.

But this is nothing new to the citizens of Los Ranchos. Here, we pay the county tax, but in order to get protection by the county PD (AKA BCSO) we've got to pay extra for three officers, their cars, a Sargent, and all of their benefits. And then these officers are used for duties outside of the village, being sent as far away as the east mountains. So not only are we paying more, but we are actually getting less while subsidizing police protection in the rest of the county! And what rationale does BCSO offer for this? Their response is that LR has a low crime rate, and they send the officers where they are needed. But if you ask them for data about crime, you get a bunch of excuses about computer glitches and the like. Because the whole thing is a big scam

Outrageous, but alas no one except El Picador seems to care about this stuff. Everyone here was so worked up over a losy mill for open space. The county is taking us for a whole lot more than that.

Picaresque Slautes Vista del Norte

2007-03-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

EL Picador and the Picaresque send out mad props and kudos to our neighbors to the east at Vista del Norte, and all of the others who are fighting the proposed Walmart Pooperstore on Osuna. Through perseverance and some very clever politicking (gotta love adding the balloon landing zone angle) they appear to have put the heavyweight on the ropes. Even Marty's gotten into the act, smelling political blood on the water, with a proposal to have the city of Albuquerque buy the land out from under Walmart!

At last, an apparent success for the little guy. So take heart, all of you Starbuck-buckers, fire-station malcontents and those of you tilting Quixote-style at sell towers. The behemoth can be landed with a single well-aimed harpoon. Keep up the good fight.

And that fight enters a very important round at Los Ranchos village hall the second Wednesday in April, when Larry and the gang gather to gut--er, amend--the VC zone. Be there to make your voice heard!

EL Picador corrects the Journal

2007-03-23T18:31:00.000-07:00

Leave it to your trusted source EL Picador to do the real investigative journalism. Recall yesterday's post, where El Picador questioned the WSJ's claim that a village Starbucks would turn over $56,000 in GRT revenue to the village per year. Turns out El Picador's skepticism was well founded, and the discrepancy between the WSJ/village administration claim and the truth is even larger than even the cynical EL Picador had imagined!

A quick internet search revealed average Starbucks per store gross revenue of $970,000 (Source: Seattle Times, Oct 2006). A visit to the tax.state.nm site reported Los Rancho's total GRT take is currently 6.6875%, of which 5% goes to the state. That would leave 1.69% of 970,000 as the REAL LR GRT take from a Starbucks. Plug it into your calculator, and you get a little south of $17,000 of tax revenue per year. That's a long, long way from the $56,000 that the WSJ reports would be coming in. But that is what happens when you rely on a single source (one probably wearing a bad rug) for your information, instead of doing real research.

So save yourself the two bits, and read the Picaresque instead of the WSJ---if you really want to know what is going on!

Alb Journal goes pro-java

2007-03-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

It seems that the WSJ has seen fit to endorse the Starbucks on 4th street (See yesterday's WSJ)
El Picador cannot remember the Journal ever taking a stand on any proposed village action before. WSJ had no position on such past controversial proposals as the plan to narrow fourth street (and the subsequent bogus lawsuit that cost the village millions in federal funding), the location of a "head shop" near a middle school, a complete overhaul of the zoning codes, the formation of the planing and zoning commission, the fight to get the fireworks store to install sprinklers, and many others. Similarly, the WSJ has stayed mum on many more recent issues, like the RGB setbacks, the Unser museum, the re-location of the fire station, the trashing of the VC zone to allow for gas stations and the accompanying threat to use eminent domain to seize private property for commercial development---to name but a very few. All of these did not merit the Journals attention----but keeping out a Starbucks? That's downright un-American!

Lang must really need his java fix bad!

Especially amusing to El Picador was the editor's lecture about how we villagers just have to accept "progress" like Starbucks. The editorial writer goes on to claim that any decent commercial development these days needs a Starbucks. Oh, really?

But can a Starbucks really turn over $56,000 in GRT per year, as the WSJ claims?

Lets do a little math. The total GRT is around 6.5%, and the state takes a third of that. Say LR keeps 4%. That would project gross sales at this single Starbucks of almost $1.5 MILLION per year! Thats a lotta tall mochas!!! Suffice it to say EL Picador is a bit skeptical about those numbers. Those numbers sound like they came to the WSJ via village hall, courtesy of hizzonher himself, who came out squarely in favor of the jitter-joint in a recent Village Vision. (Even more interesting is the statement in the editorial that the village administration is supporting the Starbucks---despite the fact that the variances were REJECTED by the planning and zoning commission? So just what --or who--is this "village administration" referred to in the WSJ? You got it---the fourth stooge himself! )

Well, at least the west-siders will have a place to loose that drowsy feeling that one gets after gassing up the hummer at the mega-station and gorging on Golden Starches fare at the new "village center".

Why pay taxes to Bernalillo?

2007-03-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

El Picador wants to know---why do residents and businesses in Los Ranchos (or Albuquerque for that matter) pay taxes to the county? We pay the same any property owner in the unincorporated areas (and now even a mill more, but I digress), but unlike the county residents, we get absolutely NOTHING from the county in return. We have to pay for our own fire department---that incidentally spends do much of its time responding to emergencies OUTSIDE of the village, in the county, that LR is having to pony up millions to move its fire station to 4th street--our own police protection, our own planning department, animal control, etc.

We pay extra for building inspection, animal shelters, etc. Worse, we pay BCS for three officers and a Sargent, their cars, clothing, equipment and vacation/benefits---and they are sent throughout the North Valley command, and even into the east mountains!

Los Ranchos is a huge cash cow for the county---they rake in millions, and it costs them nothing in services. And no one knows this better tan our very own double-dipper, Juan Vigil, who had a whole previous career in county government, most recently retiring as the chief administrator with a healthy pension, now supplemented handsomely by his extravagant LR salary (his counterpart in Albuquerque, who supervises a government with many fold more employees and a budget many orders of magnitude larger and more complex makes about the same scratch)

So how about it Juan----why is it again that we pay county taxes at all? Especially when THEY should be paying US for the work our BCS officers and our fire department do in the county!

2007-03-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

Speed is killing me

Maybe I missed something when I moved into this suburb of Albuquerque, New Mexico, known as Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, but aren't the residents of the village really trying to preserve "their rural lifestyle" - slow down and enjoy the beautiful farmland and pastures - as they build new mansionettes? I read that Mayor Abraham moved here a few months before I did. Welcome to Los Ranchos de Albuquerque!

History is that former Mayor O'Conner took a lot of heat back in the early 90s for lowering the speed limit on Rio Grande Boulevard to 25 MPH to preserve that lifestyle. Mayor Stowers apparently tried to raise the speed limit back to 35 MPH but backed down after some criticism. I'm told he's is a retired New Mexico State Supreme Court Justice, so I guess he understands political pressure, just like Inglesias does now.

Apparently Mayor Hooker left well enough alone in the early 00s on Rio Grande Boulevard, but did a traffic survey of actual speeds and found where drivers were abusing the local limits the most. He then went over the deep end and proposed real speed limiting controls, like "modern roundabouts" and "chicanes" and more. Now we're talking real engineering here, like rocket science (like I knew in Ohio before I left corn country to move here).

So the libertarian and well-to-do gentry in the Albuquerque suburbs north of Los Ranchos and inside Los Ranchos used their self-proclaimed Los Ranchos Neighborhood Association (I've never received an invitation to join their country club, thank you very much) to fight this project and voted him out of office. They didn't want anyone forcing them to obey speed limits for their Jaguars and Hummers. Live and let live, no? I love my old Huffy, anyway. May yet be the death of me on Rio Grande Boulevard if I try to ride to the Los Ranchos Growers Market ever again.

So now, we've got the Republican technopolitic solition - speed boards - that don't work. Who said that engineering matters in solving our common problems? Trustee Lopez? - a friend at the growers market said he is the engineer of the Trustees.

The City of Albuquerque grudgingly agreed to post the same radar speed signs on their Montanyo crossing to appease the Village, but publicly admitted that they don't work. But, hey, what the heck, the Court made them do it. (PS how do you spell that street that sounds like "Montanyo"?)

So, Mayor Abraham's blinkin' speed signs continue their vigilance on Rio Grande and El Pueblo to tell speeding citizens and commuters that they are, well, driving. Mayor Chavez (am I spelling his name right?) begrudgingly put his signs on Montanyo at the Rio Grande overpass, but swears they don't work, and apparently they don't slow the traffic below 45 mph. So I guess he was right. (Notice how the signs read about 5 mph less than your speedometer anyway? Makes for better reports. I guess I better check my tire inflation. This is rocket science, BTW.)

So how are Mayor Abraham's signs doing? Long pause for reply ... Did I miss the Albuquerque Journal's "Road Warrior's" report in the West Side Journal? Oh, yeah, like traffic on El Pueblo matters to Tom Lange and his merry editors - who live on the West Side OF THE RIVER, not just west of the RailRunner tracks. Maybe I made a real mistake moving into the Valley instead of the West Side.

How about the deputies who ticket speeders? Nice guys, but another long pause for reply ... Are we getting any of their County support from their traffic enforcement budget that we pay for through County property taxes and fees to our County Sheriff (who's running for Governator of New Mexico in '10)? I've got to quit reading my bills. Perhaps I should register to vote, too.

So, how about speeding on North 4th Street? I clocked my fellow drivers last week. They were all doing 44 MPH from Alameda to Montanyo. How is the Village and the Sheriff enforcing the 35 mph speed limit there? You know the drill now ... How many school zones do we have in Los Ranchos? Oh, that's right, no one walks to school anymore here. (Just like Ohio, if I had children, I wouldn't let them walk to school here. Sorry.) So don't worry about the way you drive. Oh, and Mayor Abraham posted 4th and Osuna at 30 MPH last week, good luck. My fellow travellers didn't slow down at all. They had a green light.

Okay, so the signs aren't working, the deputies aren't working, parents have given up, and children don't walk anymore, drivers are speeding at will, and Mayor Abraham and his Escalade buddies speed when they want to, where they want to. We don't need no stinkin' traffic calming.

Mayor Abraham hasn't done a single blinkin' thing to make the roads of Los Ranchos safer for families, children and dogs since I moved here, but put up a handful of blinkin' signs. Thank you, Mr. Mayor, for your help in preserving our "rural" life here in your adopted village. Welcome to Los Ranchos.

Only His Hairdresser Knows For Sure......

2007-03-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

"Native son" wants to know: Does the thug wear a rug?

El Picador has actually wondered the same thing from time to time. True, the 'do never seems to change---always the same length and never out of place. Also, Hizzoner is pushing the half-century mark, and not even a touch of grey?

But this is only speculation. What we need is proof---and that may take someone running up and giving it a good yank. Who is game?

With the Bond Passed, its Back to Business as Usual

2007-03-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

Apparently emboldened by the passage of the open space bond, Larry and his posse got right back to work the very next day on their grand vision for Fourth and Osuna.

But first they had to deal with a few malcontents who had the audacity to argue that the prohibition against drive throughs in the VC zone should be enforced. They spoke at length against the Starbucks, undeterred by rude comments by hizzoner (who sometimes acts as if he's ODed on grande double expresso no-fat lattes, and may be looking for a convenient place to get his fix), and in the end achieved the Pyrrhic victory of that time-honored BOT cop-out, the "deferral for further study". Roughly translated as "We didn't anticipate so much opposition and haven't the nads to actually do the right thing and vote "no", so we will put this off and bury it at the end of a long agenda in the future, hoping that these crazies will somehow forget to show up the next time".

Then it was on the the VC revision. The last step in that grand scheme of Larry's to place a development of his choosing at 4th and Osuna---removing all of the design guidelines, pedestrian amenities, controls on the floor space of businesses, and ironically the requirement for FREE dedicated open space from the zone, calling it, in classic double-speak, "protection for the neighborhoods". But now the administration wants to gut the thing even more, by making drive throughs a conditional use and to make gas-stations a PERMISSIVE use!! What could be more pedestrian friendly than a big old gas station, with maybe a McDonalds drive through attached! What says, "welcome to Rural Los Ranchos, note our unique village center" better than that?

It sure doesn't take a 'rocket scientist" to see where this is going. Wake up, people! Now that Larry and his friends on RGB have secured their scenic vistas with our tax money, its time to make 4th into another San Mateo to pump GRT into the now nearly empty village coffers.

El Picador says---Say No to the VC revision before it is too late!

And as for that area being "blighted"---EL Picador knows of no greater blight than a mega-gas station and McDonalds. I'll take weeds and land-locked property anytime.

To buy or not to buy? that is the question

2007-03-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

Vote! Vote! Open Space Bond Election Tuesday! Vote! Vote!

Wow! This must be the biggest election since Mayor Larry and his gang ran in '04 just after I moved here. I've received 4 glossy mailings now from the self-proclaimed "Friends of the Village of Los Ranchos" who can be reached at 4613 Los Poblanos Cir. NW. This stuff costs serious money, though it may be a lot cheaper than buying an ad in the Mayor's glossy "Village Vision" mouthpiece. But none of my neighbors seem to know anything about what's going on. I really need to get involved and get up to speed on these issues.

In the current fusillade of mail, it's good to see folks with contracts with the Village chipping in for the Mayor's campaign, corporations like Star Paving and Larkin Group (both being paid by the Mayor for the 4th & Osuna project - I saw their names on the signs). I appreciate their loyalty to their client. Don't know what work Albuquerque Asphalt, Sites Southwest and TLC Plumbing & Utilities are doing for the Village. Need to find that out. I don't think they headquarter in Los Ranchos. Perhaps the owners live here?

I'm glad all the Trustees and the Mayor have signed on. Don't know the other folks, however.

That aside, the authors claim that the "open space" to be purchased will
- preserve wildlife habitat
- preserve farmland
- provide opportunities for outdoor recreation, [and]
- preserve scenic landscapes and mountain views

I haven't lived in the Village that long, but I wonder about the logic here. Can you preserve "wildlife habitat" and "farmland" at the same time? Farmers I know back home fight the wildlife that eat their crops and kill their animals all the time. Can you keep sheep and goats in Los Ranchos? I know people keep horses. I've seen a couple of peacocks. Cows seem too big for our little ranchos here. A neighbor told me that there used to be buffalo here. Amazing what you can do in the suburbs!

Then what kind of "outdoor recreation" and "farmland" (along with that mythical "wildlife habitat") can be bought in Los Ranchos today for $3,600,000? The glossy fliers didn't say. I would like a baseball field, please. Who decided what to buy? Is there a wish list out there? I think we need more parks for kids.

On another side of the question, there is one plain paper flyer from folks who call themselves "Concerned Village Residents" who can be reached at Village_visionary@yahoo.com. They don't say that they are for or against the bond and debt, but they describe their understanding of Village open space and their concerns.

"Concerned Residents" say that residents have access to open land today:
- 138 acres of Los Poblanos Fields (is that in Los Ranchos? Someone said it belongs to Albuquerque)
- 40 miles of ditches (with signs that forbid me to walk my dog on them)
- 300 miles of Albuquerque and Bernalillo County bike trails (yeah, like I tried that a few months ago, and almost got run over on my way to the trail. Rocket science is safer than bike riding here, believe me.)
- Rio Grande Valley State Park (but I almost go run over trying to get to the trail to get to the Park)
- Alameda Rio Grande open space (the parking lot is always full, so I've got to get back on the trail)
- 176 acres of Candelaria Farm, (I don't know where this is. Candelaria Road?)
- Rio Grande Nature Center (This was neat to visit. Seems like it's been here a long time.)

The tax will run for 20 years. The glossy fliers didn't state that fact. Does Los Ranchos need to borrow money? The village looks pretty rich to me, with all the new big houses going up, Tuscan and all that. Why not just pledge the current tax revenues to the sellers? Do we have to buy the land?

So are the Concerned Residents right in saying that the $3.6m will be just a "down payment" on 14 acres of the Anderson property? (that's the winery on Rio Grande, isn't it?) I don't know what farmland sells for today, but 14 acres at $3.6m comes out to around $260,000 per acre. Seems like a lot to me for alfalfa, but maybe that's what 1-acre lots for McRanchos on Rio Grande Boulevard are selling for today. If they are $350,000, then we're in trouble, and Mayor Larry will only be able to buy about 10 acres. Seems like a drop in the bucket to preserve "open land" in Los Ranchos.

The Concerned Residents ask a couple of disturbing questions. "Were the residents of the village asked what lands should be targeted for acquisition for open space?" and "... should the village have conducted forums to get residents input?" I wasn't asked to vote on land to be bought, and if there was a village forum, I missed it. Seems like the folks on Rio Grande get all the benefits. What about the folks who live and work on 4th Street?

Perhaps it is time to vote "no" and start over again, give the resident of the village some time to talk and think about the choice. Given our sprawl, it may be a really good idea to buy open land.

Breath of fresh air

2007-03-10T19:59:00.000-08:00

It's a breath of fresh air to have a blog about our little village. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Enchanted Valley in the Mayor's Sights?

2007-03-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

Although El Picador's sources are generally reliable, occasional errors sometime slip through. When this occurs, El Picador makes it a policy to publish a correction ASAP. Veracity is everything here at the Picaresque. The last post had a couple of mistakes:

1. Most importantly, the P and Z meeting at which the medical laundry will be discussed is on MONDAY (not Tuesday), 3/12/2007 at 7PM at Village Hall. The P and Z usually meets on the first Tuesday of the month, but because there is an election that day, the date was moved up. So if you care about having filthy, disgusting soiled hospital linens piled high on 4th, mark your calendars with the corrected date.

2. El Picador has also been informed of another error in yesterday's post---the proposed location of the laundry. It is NOT proposed for the tortilla FLATS property south of Osuna, but rather for the tortilla FACTORY location on 4th and Enchanted Valley road.

Now, anyone who has followed village happenings of late knows that a number of active and vociferous opponents of the Mayor reside on Enchanted Valley Rd, just behind the factory. One of these individuals swears that the Mayor actually told him that the laundry was payback for the difficulties that he and others in the neighborhood had caused the administration by helping to organize opposition to the open space bond tax increase!

The residents of Enchanted Valley have long borne the brunt of the malfeasance and negligence of the village administration. A decade or more ago, then Mayor Harry Stowers rammed though a zone change to allow a huge (by village standards, where there is no manufacturing zone) tortilla factory to be built on a previously vacant lot. A big, ugly sheet metal building with minimal landscaping built right to the residential property line was erected almost overnight. All sorts of promises were made about buffering the impact to the neighbors, and the village pledged to enforce these. None were of course kept, and the noisy compressors from the factory ran night and day while huge semis used the little Enchanted Valley cul-de-sac to park and turn around---all assurances of the village and the factory owner to the contrary. Employees parked illegally and threw trash into adjacent yards. It was a mess.

The complaints of the neighbors fell on deaf ears during the Stowers years. The neighbors were persistent, however, and finally made life so miserable for the factory owner (dragging him into hearings at village hall and the like) that he finally gave up and moved the manufacturing away. The building has been used as a warehouse, with a little drive-through restaurant (incidentally prohibited by village zoning) since then.

Then Larry decided to purchase the land across the street for his Taj-Majal, multi-million dollar new fire station. The deal was consummated with essentially no public notice, and it pissed the Enchanted Valley folks off plenty. But Larry, like his corrupt and arrogant predecessor Stowers many years before, made the foolish decision to ignore the neighborhood and do whatever the hell he wanted. The neighbors have tried to fight back, but the rubber-stamp board of trustees, who NEVER cast a dissenting vote, have backed Larry all the way on this boondoggle and have turned a deaf ear to the pleas of their constituents.

And now this medical waste dump pops up-----at the old tortilla factory, smack dab in the front yards of Enchanted valley. Co-incidence? Or a heavy-handed attempt by someone to intimidate current and potential future opponents of the administration? You be the judge.

But El Picador puts his money on the perseverance of the Enchanted Valley neighborhood. And now they and many others have a chance to really hurt Larry at the ballot box this Tuesday.

Get out and vote 3/13 at Village hall, or lose your right to complain!!

Larry's answer for Blight---a medical waste dump?

2007-03-08T20:13:00.000-08:00

El Picador has learned that there is a proposal to place a commercial laundry facility on 4th street, just south of Osuna, that would wash ALL of the dirty medical laundry for the whole Lovelace system. Imagine how truckloads of laundry, soiled by all manner of bio-hazardous bodily fluids, streaming into the village day and night would enhance our 'blighted' commercial corridor! Vomit-soaked bedsheets, bloody OR scrubs and worse, churned out each and every day from four different hospitals, coming to Los Ranchos for disinfection---now, that's just what the master plan ordered! I guess this is the sort of quality commercial development we can look forward to from the village administration after the VC gets trashed next week.

This is just another example of how the Rio Grande Elite views the east side of town----a place to contain the riff-raf, concentrate the high impact (and GRT cash producing) uses, and a source of property tax revenue. And they have the gaul to ask us to vote to tax ourselves so that they can continue to enjoy unspoiled scenic vistas, while we suck up diesel fumes from trucks shlepping toxic waste and deliveries to the probable 4th-Osuna wal-mart (is there a difference between the two?) That settles it. El Picador had been considering a "yes" on the bond. But he now sees the utter contempt that the RGB gentry has for us. They are playing us for suckers--taking our cash while they ram fire stations, medical waste treatment plants, drive-through Starbucks and wal-marts down our throat. EL Picador says "Send Larry a message. Vote NO."

This waste treatment facility is on the planning and zoning commission agenda for 3/13/07----the same day as the bond vote---at 7 PM. If you don't want to see this sort of business in the village, be there to make your feelings known. The P and Z sometimes listens, and does the right thing, unlike the board of trustees.

On a similar note, EL Picador has noticed that the newly -placed (and fully landscaped) median on Osuna just west of 4th was suddenly removed, and replaced with a continuous left-hand turn lane. That could only mean that Larry has already got something lined up for the SE corner---something that needs a lot of traffic access. Get to the 3/14 BOT meeting, and make your feelings known abut preserving the VC zone. Because if Larry gets his way and its changed, El Picador will with confidence predict that a big shopping center will be approved in short order, with property seized, re-platted, and construction begun, before the fall.

Wake up, before it is too late!

Larry calls 4th and Osuna "Blighted", will take property

2007-03-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

El Picador feels that everyone in Los Ranchos needs to take a time out from the open space tax debate to focus for a moment on what is really a much more pressing issue---the wholesale gutting of our meticulously crafted zoning ordinance by our Mayor and his faithful side-kick. It is a necessary prelude to bringing in a commerical development of Larry's choosing at the SE corner of 4th and Osuna. All to bring in more cash to the village treasury, where it can be squandered on outrageous salaries for double-dipping administrators, rehabilitation of junk "donated" to the village by his rich friends for tax breaks, opulent fire stations located on overpriced land purchased over the objections of many villagers, and to defend the many lawsuits that such ill-advised, winner-take-all acts of hubris generate.

On Wednesday, March 14 at 7 PM at village hall, the board of trustees will vote on a "revision" of the Village Center (VC) zone portion of the Los Ranchos comprehensive zoning ordinance. The original VC zone was approved by the previous administration after several years of public comment, revision, tweaking and hard work by the village staff, all in keeping with the guidelines laid out in the village master plan for this commercial area. This hard work paid off--the zone won awards for innovation from national associations of civic planners and architects. It contained provisions limiting the size of businesses (keeping out "big boxes"), mandating pedestrian-friendly layouts, specifying architectural styling, and most importantly--REQUIRING the developer to designate a portion of the property as public open space!

Larry wants to get rid of all of this, and in its place allow anything with a site plan that is approved by him.., er, the board of trustees. No guidelines, controls, nada.

This comes on the heels of a decision at the last meeting that declared the Osuna-fourth area to be 'blighted"----opening the way to condemn, and therefore acquire, property in this area using the powers of eminent domain. This step was necessary because development at that corner has so far been hampered by a few recalcitrant property owners in the vicinity who, for some strange reason, still labor under the misperception that they can sell their property to whoever they choose, at what ever price (this has stalled development there so far).

If this passes, El Picador predicts a nice little development will go in soon. Maybe a wal-mart, a Starbucks, and sundry other big-box type tenants, peddling the same crap available on any major corner in the greater 'Craque area, complete with a massive asphalt parking lot with a couple of sad little ash trees and fake portillos for atmosphere. Oh, and a place to pick up sell-phones to take advantage of the great reception his 75 foot towers on Rio Grande will offer.

Then its on to the fire station.......

Everyone who gives a damn about open space, rural atmosphere and all of the other stuff that the open space proponents claim to love should be at this meeting to oppose this change. but alas, EL Picador sees the handwriting on the cottonwood stump (the tree dried out long ago)--this passes with no dissent or discussion. Soon 4th will be another Menaul while the landed gentry wade through the goose poop in Andersons courtesy of our gullible electorate.

This will sadden El Picador, who can only take solace from his uncanny prescience.

Who is behind the signs?

2007-03-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

Someone with the moniker 'Roaring Lion" wants to know who is paying for all of the signs in the village telling us how to vote on the open space bond. "RL" is also wondering how long we'd be paying for the bond, and why the journal (I assume the Albuquerque Journal) isn't covering this.

EL Picador has some answers:

First, El Picador has a pretty good idea of who is SUPPOSED to be paying for the "yes" signs. That would be the members of the open space bond committee, appointed by the mayor for the expressed purpose of promoting the bond. The names of these individuals should be available at village hall (344-6582, or on the web at villr.com).

As for the "vote no" signs, that's a tougher one. The signs do not say who paid for them (that was once a violation of the village campaign ordinance, but Larry gutted that a while back. Now its coming back to bite him on the keester). El Picador knows of many villagers who are opposed to the tax and are fighting it actively. One or more of them are probably paying for the signs.

The bond is for twenty years. So, in twenty years time someone else will be asking us all to vote on another bond, promising that it won't raise our taxes while conveniently forgetting to mention that our taxes would go DOWN if the new bond fails!

The Journal devotes scant coverage to the village, despite the fact that Tom Lange, the owner, supposedly lives here. The reporter detailed to the village beat has many other duties, and EL Picador suspects that political pressure is sometimes exerted by the editorial department to keep a lid on any sort of controversial stories. But to be fair, the Journal has taken an editorial position in favor of the bond, and has published another op-ed piece by a village resident on the topic. El Picador has also seen at least one story on it recently. And the Journal is good about publishing letters to the editor in the WSJ. But let's face it---the Washington Post they are not. They never seem to have any meat in their stories.

Update on Los Ranchos civil liberties

2007-03-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

El Picador has made the rounds of the village, and is happy to report that numerous political signs referring to the bond election were again in evidence, including many of the previously 'disappeared" anti-tax ones. Pro and con seem about evenly split, if the number of signs is any indication.

And that is good. It is great to hear some real, down to earth debate around here, instead of the usual sanitized apathy. There are good arguments to be made for both sides, and open debate is the sound of freedom.

El Picador still has not been able to substantiate the rumor that the cops were called to arrest an anti-tax advocate, or that the village was responsible for confiscating their signs. But if true, not only were important rights violated---- the mayor has committed a huge political blunder as well. He does not seem to realize that many people see this election as not only about taxes and open space, but also as a referendum on his administration. What better way to bring out more "no" votes than this heavy-handed stunt?

Free Speech Trampled in Los Ranchos!

2007-03-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

Rumor has it that the 'vote no on the open space' signs that recently appeared on Rio Grande and elsewhere in the village have been removed by employees of the village, on orders of the village administration. Apparently, the proper 'permits' were not filed at village hall. At least that was the rationale.

Worse, when one of the anti-tax folks went in to complain, the village administrator, according to El Picador's sources, called the cops to have her arrested! But the cops did no such thing, due partially to the fact that the "vote yes" signs supported by the village government had no permits either! The confiscated signs were returned. El Picador plans to travel RGB to see if the signs are back in place or not.

If this incident did take place, it is certainly a very sad day in the village, regardless of what side you are on in the debate about taxes and open space. Democracy cannot survive without reasoned dissent, freely and fairly exercised. The sort of tactics allegedly employed by the village administration abridge our fundamental rights, and should be condemned by everyone.

Red Light Camera bags El Picador, but he will retailiate

2007-03-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

El Picador received a most unpleasant surprise in the mail recently----a photo allegedly showing El Picador's vehicle executing a right turn on a red light at Menaul and San Mateo without stopping for the requisite time, and politely demanding that El Picador remit the outrageous sum of $100 in recompense for this outrage against the citizenry of Albuquerque.

Further, El Picador was advised that he is guilty until proven innocent, and that if he is foolish enough to waste his time by contesting the citation, he will be judged not by an independent member of the judicial branch of government, but by an employee of the very same entity that issued the citation and stands to gain financially from a guilty verdict! (And El Picador does recall that this administrator's predecessor left the post after being chided by his superiors for letting too many scofflaws off the hook).

An unconstitutional outrage! El Picador may try to fight this, and is considering the purchase of some of that "photostop" stuff to confound big brother the next time. But better yet, El Picador is planning a boycott of Albuquerque. Here's how it would work:

Whenever possible, buy only in Rio Rancho, Los Ranchos de Albuqerque, the unincorporated areas of Bernalillo county, or on line---all bastions of democracy--- so as to deprive Marty and his greedy friends of gross receipts revenue. And since El Picador is in the midst of some big ticket purchases, Marty will be smarting plenty! Further, El Picador will visit select merchants in Albuquerque to inform that they will no longer be getting his business because of the tyrannical actions of the city administration. The boycott would end when the city goes back to the old, honest method of having real live cops give out tickets and junks Huxley-esque big eye cameras.

Who will join El Picador?

More on Open Space--Can we count on Ryan?

2007-02-25T18:28:00.000-08:00

A sidebar to the open space election is the request, by state sen John Ryan (R-dist 10) for around $4 million to enable Los Ranchos to acquire the Anderson fields open space. This, together with the $3.5 million that might come from the bond, should be enough to buy around half of the property (its about 50 acres, and goes for around $300k per acre).

The question is, how likely is it that we will get even a portion of that money? Answer: not very. 4 mill is a big capital outlay request, and LR is only one part of Ryan's district. In fact, Ryan LOST the village precincts in the last election to John Hooker. He won due to overwhelming support on the other side of the river. What is more, Ryan is a freshman senator who is a member of the minority party. There is no way his colleagues will let him have that kind of money to throw around, so you can bet on the amount being slashed or even eliminated entirely. And Ryan, having lost the village to Hooker, probably will not be motivated much to fight for the money. He needs to service his west-side supporters. When the cash gets yanked from his capital outlay request, he can still claim that he "tried" to help Los Ranchos and can blame the democrats for taking the money away, leaving him with cash to throw at the west side. He'll then have a good chuckle over martinis with John Dendal about how he made himself to look like a hero in the village, while actually screwing them and delivering nothing.

El Picador's prediction: Almost nothing from Ryan's capital outlay request for open space. Maybe we get the paltry amount Dede Feldman has asked for (a small corner of the village off of RGB is in her district, gerrymandered by the republican to keep Janice Paster from running against Ramsey Gorham. The area includes Paster's house). Feldman cannot be blamed for the small sum. We're lucky she put in anything at all, as she has most of the rest of her district to the south to consider.

Election for Open Space Taxes on March 13

2007-02-24T23:18:00.000-08:00

In case it has escaped your notice (a likely scenario, given the short time since the resolution calling for the election was passed with little notice during the holidays), we're having a special election in Los Ranchos in just a few weeks---Tuesday, March 13, to be exact. There is one question on the ballot----Shall the property owners in the Village of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque agree to levy a tax on themselves of one mil for a $3.5 million bond for the purpose of purchasing open space?

First, a translation of the legal mumbo-jumbo----what is a mil, anyway? It is one-tenth of a percent, or a "thousandth". That would come to $1 per $1000 of taxable value. To put in more understandable terms, that comes to $100 per year for every $300,000 of assessed value (not market value). That is because in NM your taxable value is 1/3 of the assessed value. The bond is for 20 years, so the village is asking us to pony up a few thousand each for "open space".

Sounds great, someone else with their hands in our pockets for "public works". But we all love our open space and pastoral vistas--that is probably why we were willing to shell out such ungodly sums to buy homes here. And we all rightly decry the daily loss of old alfalfa fields to obscene McMansions. Soon the place is going to look like Tanoan with a few cottonwoods. Wouldn't it be nice if some land was set aside and left open, for the public to enjoy, before its all gone?

Yup, it would be great. But there are a few problems to consider. First, what land are we going to buy? And what are we going to do with it? Use it to stash more tasteless junk donated to the village, like we do at the park by village hall? Or maybe, since it would be village property, we could put up more $ell towers, disguised as Walmart artificial Christmas Trees! ! No one seems to be taking much about that. Sounds like they want us to sign a big blank check.

More ominously---whoever owns this "open space" may be getting set up for a big windfall if there isn't a fair and independent appraisal and open public disclosure of the deal. If you were around when McCall made out huge with the lower Anderson deal, then you know what I'm talking about. The opportunity for corruption is obvious. With Larry and Juan at the helm---remember, these guys shelled out $750,000 for a seedy, run-down junk yard on 4th street with almost no public notice, and agreed to lease a land-locked lot near Paseo for $38,000 per MONTH--this makes me pretty nervous. It should make you that way also.

It has been rumored that the gang on Rio Grande have a deal in the works already to use the bond plus some capital outlay money to buy some of the old Anderson Winery property on RGB---for a cool $350k per acre, more or less. Now, that is a nice piece of land. Beautiful and serene. It makes for a relaxing view for all of the landed gentry as they drive to their palatial estates after a hard day. But what about those of us who are also paying the tax, and live a hardscrabble existence to the east? Where are our grassy fields? Our peaceful vistas? I'm not wild about shelling out my hard-earned bucks so some gizillionaire can look at the geese through his beemer windows.

Then, there is this fishy business about a lawsuit settlement. The owners of Anderson sued the village after Larry slapped a big front-yard setback on RGB, which impacted the number of McMansions that could be slapped on the property. This was settled. I wonder if a promise to but the land by the village was part of the deal?

On the other and, I also am sick of these McMansions. Its tragic what happened at poblanos orchards. I'd hate to see that cancer expand. Maybe I'll vote for the tax. Or maybe not. It depends on whether or not Larry and Juan can convince me that they will use this money fairly.

The Picaresque Launches!

2007-02-24T22:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the inaugural issue of the Los Ranchos de Albuquerque Picaresque---the successor to the short lived, but well loved Los Ranchos Picayune. A on-line newspaper in interactive blog form, where the citizens of Los Ranchos can get REAL news that you won't find in that glossy throw-away you get in the mail from village hall every month. And also where you, the reader, get to actually talk an HAVE SOMEONE LISTEN FOR A CHANGE---an experience you just can't get at the board of trustee meetings (unless, of course, you happen to be hizzoner himself, or a well-heeled developer bent on derailing floor area ratio restrictions. But I digress). Stay tuned for news and commentary on the many pressing issues here in LR, including:

1. The upcoming special election to approve a new property tax for open space
2. Larry's big plans for 4th and Osuna
3. The ongoing fire station saga
4. $ell (yup, its spelled correctly) tower shenanigans
5. The floor area ratio fight

And many others.