Sell Tower Blues

Well, the new sell tower is on line, and guess what? The cell coverage is WORSE, at least for verizon. This is not just El Picador's experience, no sir. Many others have noticed the same thing. Where once we had coverage throughout the village, we now are dropping calls left and right--especially around fourth street. New phones, re-programming, upgrades, calls to tech support, you name it---nothing seems to help. Guess some sort of electromagnetic karma is at work here.

Larry would do well to note this before he makes the same mistake as some of his colleagues in other towns and tries to set up the wi-fi service he has bragged about in the Vision as another putative benefit of the X-mas pole. Bad service, broken promises and massive cost overruns have plagued these systems despite all of the rosy rhetoric of the sell providers. Why he wants the headache is beyond me--unless he is taking a page out of his friend the Shrub's book and is planning to use the wi-fi to spy on the informal e-mail networks used by his opponents.

No need to fear there. Sellular incompetence and overreach will keep us safe for a long time.

Just don't ditch your land lines or cable hookups!

"$ell Tower" Larry--Four More Years?!!?

Election time in LR is just around the corner. In fact, candidate filing will be in early January! And rumor has it that old $ell Tower is going for another term, which also means a well-financed slate of stooges for two trustee slots so that the mayor can continue in his despotic ways unchecked.

Our little burg can ill afford another four years of Larry Abraham, and all of you know it. So who will demonstrate the huevos to really get up and do something about it? Who will run for mayor, or trustee? Why not you, dear reader? Just think of yourself sitting up there on stage in village hall, glaring condescendingly toward the poor sap droning on at the podium! What prestige and respect will you command as you pummel the rug thug and his minions with nay votes! Why wait any longer--organize your campaign now!!! And remember, thanks to Larry LR is the only municipality in the state without ANY campaign finance regulations or reporting requirements whatsoever.