Speed is killing me

Maybe I missed something when I moved into this suburb of Albuquerque, New Mexico, known as Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, but aren't the residents of the village really trying to preserve "their rural lifestyle" - slow down and enjoy the beautiful farmland and pastures - as they build new mansionettes? I read that Mayor Abraham moved here a few months before I did. Welcome to Los Ranchos de Albuquerque!

History is that former Mayor O'Conner took a lot of heat back in the early 90s for lowering the speed limit on Rio Grande Boulevard to 25 MPH to preserve that lifestyle. Mayor Stowers apparently tried to raise the speed limit back to 35 MPH but backed down after some criticism. I'm told he's is a retired New Mexico State Supreme Court Justice, so I guess he understands political pressure, just like Inglesias does now.

Apparently Mayor Hooker left well enough alone in the early 00s on Rio Grande Boulevard, but did a traffic survey of actual speeds and found where drivers were abusing the local limits the most. He then went over the deep end and proposed real speed limiting controls, like "modern roundabouts" and "chicanes" and more. Now we're talking real engineering here, like rocket science (like I knew in Ohio before I left corn country to move here).

So the libertarian and well-to-do gentry in the Albuquerque suburbs north of Los Ranchos and inside Los Ranchos used their self-proclaimed Los Ranchos Neighborhood Association (I've never received an invitation to join their country club, thank you very much) to fight this project and voted him out of office. They didn't want anyone forcing them to obey speed limits for their Jaguars and Hummers. Live and let live, no? I love my old Huffy, anyway. May yet be the death of me on Rio Grande Boulevard if I try to ride to the Los Ranchos Growers Market ever again.

So now, we've got the Republican technopolitic solition - speed boards - that don't work. Who said that engineering matters in solving our common problems? Trustee Lopez? - a friend at the growers market said he is the engineer of the Trustees.

The City of Albuquerque grudgingly agreed to post the same radar speed signs on their Montanyo crossing to appease the Village, but publicly admitted that they don't work. But, hey, what the heck, the Court made them do it. (PS how do you spell that street that sounds like "Montanyo"?)

So, Mayor Abraham's blinkin' speed signs continue their vigilance on Rio Grande and El Pueblo to tell speeding citizens and commuters that they are, well, driving. Mayor Chavez (am I spelling his name right?) begrudgingly put his signs on Montanyo at the Rio Grande overpass, but swears they don't work, and apparently they don't slow the traffic below 45 mph. So I guess he was right. (Notice how the signs read about 5 mph less than your speedometer anyway? Makes for better reports. I guess I better check my tire inflation. This is rocket science, BTW.)

So how are Mayor Abraham's signs doing? Long pause for reply ... Did I miss the Albuquerque Journal's "Road Warrior's" report in the West Side Journal? Oh, yeah, like traffic on El Pueblo matters to Tom Lange and his merry editors - who live on the West Side OF THE RIVER, not just west of the RailRunner tracks. Maybe I made a real mistake moving into the Valley instead of the West Side.

How about the deputies who ticket speeders? Nice guys, but another long pause for reply ... Are we getting any of their County support from their traffic enforcement budget that we pay for through County property taxes and fees to our County Sheriff (who's running for Governator of New Mexico in '10)? I've got to quit reading my bills. Perhaps I should register to vote, too.

So, how about speeding on North 4th Street? I clocked my fellow drivers last week. They were all doing 44 MPH from Alameda to Montanyo. How is the Village and the Sheriff enforcing the 35 mph speed limit there? You know the drill now ... How many school zones do we have in Los Ranchos? Oh, that's right, no one walks to school anymore here. (Just like Ohio, if I had children, I wouldn't let them walk to school here. Sorry.) So don't worry about the way you drive. Oh, and Mayor Abraham posted 4th and Osuna at 30 MPH last week, good luck. My fellow travellers didn't slow down at all. They had a green light.

Okay, so the signs aren't working, the deputies aren't working, parents have given up, and children don't walk anymore, drivers are speeding at will, and Mayor Abraham and his Escalade buddies speed when they want to, where they want to. We don't need no stinkin' traffic calming.

Mayor Abraham hasn't done a single blinkin' thing to make the roads of Los Ranchos safer for families, children and dogs since I moved here, but put up a handful of blinkin' signs. Thank you, Mr. Mayor, for your help in preserving our "rural" life here in your adopted village. Welcome to Los Ranchos.